Last week I tweeted a quote from Phil (he was quoting someone else, but I forget who) when he said 'Learn how to navigate disappointment without downsizing your dreams' and this week Simon preached on just how to do that.
He opened with this quote (again, probably from someone else... I should learn to listen better!):
"When you scratch the surface, behind every cynic is a disappointed idealist".
It's so hard not to let negative experiences shape us. I've just had my interview for TSM (if you don't know what that is, you should check the link!) and they asked what I hoped to receive from the course. One of my answers was that I want to be around people with more faith and expectations for God's intervention than I currently have.
My theology tells me that God can heal, and I have seen it happen, but in all honesty, not as often as I'd hope. Today we prayed for people who were living with disappointment and unanswered prayers and whilst the sermon touched a nerve, the reality is that I don't live with disappointment right now. I'm incredibly blessed.
Honestly I think it comes from years of disappointment building mindsets that I'm struggling to break. God has healed me but it wasn't instant, and I grew impatient of waiting. I've written about trusting God for His promises but I haven't always lived it. So when healing came, I was grateful, and I thanked Him; but I'd already learned how to experience low levels of faith when it came to asking.
Today I'm asking for a fresh start. The bible says His mercies are new every morning (lamentations 3:22-23) and I know he can renew my mind today. If you see me acting like a cynic - call me on it. I promise I'll try not to be offended, and I'm sure I'll thank you later even if I'm not gracious enough to remember to do so at the time - I'm still a work in progress...